“I dream to heal my relationship to rest by changing my perception around it from an act of self-absorption into an act of self-love.”

Dream Achievement Forecast: August 2022

Why?

In the past eight years, I’ve attended and completed graduate school, moved to a new state where I knew no one, gotten married, redefined what marriage looks like to me, started and failed a business, survived an eating disorder, lived through a pandemic, endured professional abuse at a job I ultimately left, and then started three new jobs in under three years. At CTC, I am finally at a place in my life where I can begin healing. But in the beginning months here, I felt myself still running through constant adrenaline spikes and anxiety attacks, diving into deep depression, and, finally, facing some of the hardest months of my adult life. Before I can even start to heal, I need to move myself out of survival mode and into a place where sustainability, not exterior unrealistic standards of slaying every day, is the barometer I use for decision making.

How?

1. Complete a thorough examination of my time, both intentional and passive, as well as stimuli in my day-to-day and its affect on my mental health

2. Create a secular sabbath, wherein my time is spent away from screens and digital stimulus and instead spent with friends and family, enjoying a meal together and genuinely connecting with others

3. Begin a creative ritual that I adhere to at least three times a week for the purposes of joy and play, not output and consumerism

4. Invest in both at least ten small monthly and one larger annual retreats where I spend time alone to rest and draw on what feeds me as a creative, as an empath, as a connector, and as a human.